I’m on Facebook surfing…deflecting. In actuality, I should be thinking about my next short story. But anyway, I’m Facebook stalling and see that several of my 185 friends have shared Lil Kim’s recent selfie.
Of course, I know that Lil Kim has been “transitioning” for several years. But when I came across her selfie collage this morning, I stared at the six blocks for like 20 seconds. Twenty seconds of focus for someone who isn’t a friend or family member is a long damn time.
Maybe I’m too Black and too woman, but after those 20 seconds, I need a moment to release (and share). You can’t be this Black or this woman and not feel bad for Lil Kim on so many levels and for so reasons.
I, like many Black woman, have been bombarded with internal and external social/cultural/political messages about what I am and who I should be. I, like some Black woman, am resolute in who I am and what I want to be. This, however, does not mean that there aren’t things I’d like to change about myself. For example, I need to shave several pounds of flesh and fat from my midriff— like yesterday. I want to do this for MYSELF.
And here lies the problem. I look at Lil Kim and know that she’s morphed into an ugly White Barbie because she wanted to. This is something she desired for HERSELF.
Her influencers, however, her reasons are sickening. I won’t dive into these reasons because, like I said, this is a 5 minute post. Plus, “you is smart, you is kind, you is important.” You can take 20 seconds to lament at the altar of “When Black Women Go Wrong” on your own. I already have.
With that said, I pray for internal peace and external freedom for all woman of color who succumb to imperialist white supremacist capitalist patriarchal bullshit… AND sexism… AND heterosexism… AND any other –ism that you’d like to insert [here].